Friday, October 29, 2010

CD15 of C3

Oh my goodness! All night long I dreamed of taking pregnancy tests. They all were digital and kept coming up with the beautiful, elusive word: Pregnant. Then loved ones kept coming up to me and telling me I was pregnant. It was a great dream. I don't think it's true, but it was a nice dream none the less.

Not much going on with me. I haven't noticed any increase in CM. I haven't noticed any real ovary twinges. I've been more tired lately but that's because I'm taking care of a toddler by myself while my husband is out of town.

I really hope we catch the egg this month. I am so pessimistic though. This will be our last real chance to get pregnant before DH leaves for more military training. If we don't do it this cycle we won't be able to really try again until late April. :(

Wednesday, October 27, 2010

CD13 of C3

Not too much is going on. I'm not having a good feeling about this month either. I'll just have to wait and see what happens. My DH is out of town until Saturday and I am worried I will ovulate while he is gone. :(

I read something today that said couples who take longer than 6 months ttc have a much higher chance of conceiving a boy. It was true for Joseph. I hope it doesn't even take 6 months.

But, I just wanted to update and let everyone know I'm still here. I'm trying to relax and not get to wound up with TTC this month. I know it will happen in God's time.

I've been having some throbbing in my ovaries yesterday and today. It would be nice if I ovulation either already happened or holds off until at least Saturday. I'll keep my fingers crossed.

Saturday, October 23, 2010

CD9 of C3

I had some EWCM yesterday. I don't think I've noticed it so early in my cycle before. I don't know what my body is doing anymore. I'm just going to try and focus on life and try to make sure Baby Dancing takes place on a regular basis. That's all I can do. Worrying about, and stressing about it will not help.

My DH will be gone next week from Tuesday to Saturday. And then the first weekend in November he'll be gone from Friday through Sunday. That might affect things, but I'm hoping it doesn't. My husband will be leaving for more Army training on December 5th, so we really have to give this Baby Making all we've got otherwise it will be getting put off until almost May.

On another note, I went and stood in front of an abortion clinic with my mother-in-law yesterday. I held a sign that said, "Abortion Hurts Women." It so frustrating to be trying so hard to make another child with my husband and know that women are going into this clinic all day long to kill the child they have conceived. It really angers me. We would love nothing more than to be expecting another child, and don't even care if it's a boy or girl. But these people are going in there and ending these young babies lives. Also, why is it that the Pro-Choice people that drove by swore at us or made obscene gestures at us? We had very young children there showing their support of all unborn children and you need to yell obscenities in their direction? We were not holding grotesque signs. We were not calling anyone names. We were not using foul, obscene, or derogatory language. I mean disagree with us, that's fine. Give us a thumbs down. Say "boo!" or "No!" or something else to get your point across in a less obscene way. Why is it that the group of Pro-Lifers I stood with was able to get their point across in a calm, unoffensive way, but the Pro-Choice people who disagreed with us couldn't show any of the same rationale? I know not all Pro-Choice people get their point across that way, but for those who do, it's pretty immature and inappropriate.

Monday, October 18, 2010

CD4 of C3

So, since I have no idea when I should expect the next AF, as soon as AF is over I am going to treat this whole month as if I'm ovulating. I am a little scared that DH will be gone during actual ovulation since he is going out of town twice over the next few weeks. But, we'll see what happens.

Here are my goals for this third cycle:

  • Less caffeine
  • Less alcohol
  • Continue to drink between 2 and 3 liters of water everyday
  • Walk at least one mile at least 3 times a week
  • Drink at least one cup of green tea everyday to help CM
  • Play my video games to help alleviate stress and not obsess over TTC
So, that's the plan. We'll see if it'll help. Either way I don't think it'll hurt our odds.

Saturday, October 16, 2010

CD2 of C3

Well, this title should say it all. Here we go on C3.

I began bleeding early yesterday. I couldn't get on earlier and update though. Hoping we catch the egg this third cycle.

I'd be lying if I didn't say I was a little disappointed. I had a little cry, and hopefully got it out of my system. I could be wrong, but I even think DH seemed a little disappointed too.

But they always say, "third time's a charm." So, we'll see.

I will update that ticker at the top of the screen over the weekend so that it is a little more accurate. Thanks for everyone who was keeping tabs on me this cycle. Hoping for a BFP sometime in November.

Thursday, October 14, 2010

CD36 of C2

So, I had a little spot of brown CM when I went to the bathroom earlier this morning. I haven't had anymore since, but I have been having strong AF like cramps all day. I'm pretty sure AF is starting, but I guess I won't count this cycle as over until I get some more spotting and/or bleeding.

I'm really weepy today. I'm sure it's mainly because I am feeling certain that this cycle is coming to an unsuccessful end. I'll try and update you all sometime tomorrow night.

Wednesday, October 13, 2010

CD35 of C2

Boy oh boy. Nothing yet. Had some AF cramps this morning and a few this evening. Lots of EWCM today too. But, no spotting. Still running a low grade fever too. I've been pretty moody lately as well.

I had a 36 day cycle a couple months back, so maybe tomorrow with be the day for AF. Thanks for everyone checking up on me, I can tell by the number of hits that there are a few of you on just as many pins and needles as I am. I'm glad I'm not alone. :)

Tuesday, October 12, 2010

CD34 of C2

My cramps started coming back yesterday afternoon. They are still in full swing this morning. I really think AF will start anytime. I wish it would, I hate this feeling like I could be pregnant one minute and then the next feeling like I'm going to start AF. My 2ww is turning into a 3ww. Also, more than likely even if I start AF today, my DH will probably be out of town for my next ovulation. I'm getting a little frustrated.

Monday, October 11, 2010

CD33 of C2

Still no AF. I haven't had any spotting either. My CM keeps bouncing between EWCM to dry (none at all). I'm not sure what's going on. I haven't had cramps in a while. I'm still running a low grade temp in the afternoon/evening. I'm trying so hard not to be too excited, but it's getting harder.

If AF is still not here and I'm not spotting by Saturday I will probably take a test. That will be CD38 which is when I got my BFP with Joseph.

Saturday, October 9, 2010

Preg Vs. Not-Preg Debate (CD31 of C2)

First of all until the new cycle starts please ignore my cycle ticker near the top of the page. I can't really change it until I know when my next cycle will start. So, once that happens I'll change it and it'll be closer to accurate.

So, I thought I would make a some bullet points listing why I think I might be/why I think I'm not pregnant.

For the pessimist in me I'll list the reasons I think I'm not first.

Not Pregnant:
  • I feel like AF is coming.
  • I've felt "out" this entire month.
  • My mid-cycle cold probably affected timing and quality of ovulation.
  • This is only the 2nd cycle ttc and since it took so long with Joseph I can't imagine it happening it so quickly.
And then for the sliver of optimism than remains in me, here are the reasons why I think it might be possible.

"Pregnability":
  • Had a long period of EWCM and creamy CM.
  • Fatigued.
  • I've begun having the "always" hungry feeling I had with Joseph. I just can't seem to eat enough, and even if I manage to get "full" I'm very hungry very soon after.
  • Dogs and cats have been very clingy towards me. I'm not sure if it's the smell of the extra hormones or what, but I had this issue when carrying Joseph.
  • AF like cramps with no spotting. This has been one of my symptoms with pregnancy before.
  • Low grade temperature in the evening. I have to be pretty under the weather to run a temp, but I did run one in the early stages of pregnancy with Joseph, and I have been running one the last three days of this cycle.
  • AF cramps came on heavy and strong and now have subsided completely.
  • Stretchy/Pulling feeling between pelvic bones.
  • Since just a few days after ovulation I have developed very pronounced veins across chest and BBs, and they have gotten more numerous and darker as the cycle has progressed.
  • Moody.
  • Thirsty.
  • I am completely convinced that I am not pregnant like I was with Joseph.
So, there ya go. Only time will tell.

Still haven't had anymore AF cramps today. My increase in CM seemed to dry up yesterday and is still dry today. This could be impending AF though.

Friday, October 8, 2010

CD30 of C2

As you've noticed, I've gone back to counting CD instead of DPO. I think my ovulation date is off, because I am pretty sure I would have started AF by now if I ovulated when I think I did.

I think my cramps have finally stopped. Of course now that I'm writing this I'm sure they'll start back up again. No spotting. No real sign of impending AF. My BBs feel normal. I'm not sure what my body is doing. I just wish I knew for sure what was going on. If this cycle goes much longer October will be a bust month as well since DH will be out of town for part of it.

I've been really crabby, really hungry, and really sleepy. But, I could be imagining these symptoms because I want to be pregnant. We'll see what today brings, and perhaps I'll have an idea of what's going on by the end of this weekend.

Thursday, October 7, 2010

15DPO of C2

No AF yet. Not even any spotting. Since I had Joseph usually before AF really starts I spot for 1-2 days.

So, at this point I'm cautiously optimistic. I've had longer cycles than this, so it could be I'm just having a longer cycle. But I've been really feeling AF like cramps for a few days and still no sign of any bleeding.

My EWCM has changed over to creamy CM which can be a very early sign of pregnancy. Again, I'm cautiously optimistic. We will be going to some parties over the weekend so I'm wondering if I should test to be sure I'm not pregnant since I'm sure there will be opportunities to drink.

I'm on the fence about this. I'm still very crampy. I am also very exhausted. Yesterday and the day before I took 4 hour naps. I guess we'll see what the rest of today brings.

Tuesday, October 5, 2010

13DPO of C2

Well, if my cycle is going to be as long as the one last month, I should start AF today. I feel like I will. My cramps have not let up, my BBs are puffy, I'm moody and weepy, and my back aches. All classic signs that AF is on the way. I'd like it to just start so we can start a new, hopefully successful cycle. I'm also very exhausted but I think it has to do with putting up with these painful cramps for the last few days.

If this new cycle doesn't start soon then DH will be gone during my ovulation and fertile time. I would really hate for that to happen. So, come on AF, let's get this show on the road.

I've still been having an increase in CM. This makes me a little bit optimistic for the next cycle, I think if I can keep up this CM then the chances of October being successful are great. The better and more CM there is the longer the sperm can survive. Without good CM sperm can only live a couple of hours, with good CM sperm can live for up to a week.

So, I guess it's just a waiting game now. I'll be sure to post when I start C3.

Monday, October 4, 2010

12DPO of C2

Boy oh boy. Let me just say that I, as I'm sure all women do, hate cramps. What I hate even more is having to suffer through them before AF even comes. So, I get to have killer cramps that make me feel like crap now, and then in a day or two when AF really starts? Really? Fantastic.

My cramps were so bad last night that they kept waking me up. So, then of course this morning I'm exhausted and crabby because I didn't sleep well. I'm still having them this morning. Which is making me an even bigger crank-o-saurus.

I'm a reasonable person and I understand that cramps are just part of a normal menstrual cycle. I just can't stand having to deal with them so severely now and I'm sure just as severely when I finally start bleeding.

Ya know, as if it isn't frustrating enough to have not conceived this month, so these cramps are just like salt in the wound. Then my poor husband came home last night after being gone for three days and I didn't even have the energy from these stupid cramps to stay up with him or spend time with him until he went to bed. Blah.

Sunday, October 3, 2010

11DPO of C2

I know I've already said that I feel that this cycle isn't the one for us, but I got some more confirmation today. Most of my morning was spent having major AF like cramps. Exactly like the ones I have right before AF begins. So, I'm sure in a couple days or two "she" will be here.

I know I've been pessimistic about this cycle, but I can't help but feel a little sad about it. I'd love to be proved wrong and to have conceived this cycle even though I'm so certain we haven't.

It never fails to be disappointing to spend so much time trying, hoping, and waiting just to have it not work out the way you'd hoped it would. But, life goes on.

I'll be sure to update with any changes or when I start a new cycle.

Saturday, October 2, 2010

10DPO of C2

Isn't it amazing how TTC can make the most sane, sensible person become a total hypochondriac? Every little bubble, every little twinge, every little uncomfortable sensation gets stored in my brain as a possible early pregnancy symptom. Women nowadays know so soon after conception. Several HPTs (home pregnancy test) boast that they can detect pregnancy up to 6 days before a missed period. I wonder how did women a century or two ago deal with this waiting period? I can't even imagine having to wait months to find out if I'd been successful at conceiving a child.

But anyways, here we are, almost to the end of C2. If conception happened the baby should be implanted in my uterine wall by now. Since my cycles are completely erratic lately I'm not really sure when I should be seeing AF. I'm guessing some time around 14-15DPO. But, let's be honest, it wouldn't be the first time that I've been off.

Technically I could get one of the early HPTs. I don't really want to spend the money on those extremely expensive tests. Plus, I'm fairly certain that I really am not pregnant (even though the less sane part of my brain - the hypochondriac side - keeps convincing me I am). I really just don't want to test and see a BFN. I've been emotionally unstable the last few days and I think seeing a BFN would just about send me over the edge. I'd rather just wait for the ugly AF.

I've been having some left sided ovary pain again today. I'm not sure what that means. It was uncomfortable enough to make me want to lay down and rest. I really hate PCOS. My body probably has decided to grow more cysts.

This evening I had some discomfort in my hips and what felt like some pulling of ligaments. This should be an early sign, but I'm pretty sure I had this same symptom last month at about the same point in my cycle. Probably just AF gearing up.

My husband said something about maybe I was pregnant earlier today. I was freaking out over the odor from the garbage. I hope I am, but I'm so sure I'm not.

I've still been having some increase in CM which is not normal for me, but it's probably because I'm not dehydrating myself anymore. I'm doing so-so with the water drinking. I could do better, but I just get so tired of drinking it, all day long.

I bought some green tea to try out for next cycle. It's not my favorite tea, but it's all for a good cause, right?

I linked up the website I mentioned with the 2WW symptoms. It's on the right side of the blog. Make sure you checkout just how big of a crazy person I am.