I am feeling very defeated right now. I've been taking these darn OPKs so that I could see a surge, get a positive, and put my mind at ease. I got very close to a positive on Sunday, and then on Monday my line was lighter and then today there is no line. Does that mean I did or didn't ovulate? I don't know what it means. I think it means I didn't ovulate though. And that makes me very, very sad.
I will not be able to get pregnant if my body is not ovulating. I just don't understand why people who can't afford, are addicted to drugs, are teenagers, or shouldn't be having children can get pregnant with no effort. Here we are a stable, loving, adjusted family able to care for another child and we can't get pregnant.
I'm sad. I'm alone. And I'm feeling defeated.