I am feeling less hopeful and optimistic today. I am having pretty strong AF like cramps right now, and I will be surprised if I don't start tonight or tomorrow.
I broke down and took a digital test today. I didn't realize until after I took it that it wasn't an early HPT. My hormones were very low with Joseph and it's likely they will be low with any future children (my mother had the same problem with HPTs, she couldn't get a BFP with me until she was well into her 2nd trimester). So, of course it was negative. I guess I wouldn't let than alone count me out, but that combined with these cramps makes me feel like this cycle is just about over.
I will have to remember to get an early HPT next time with a HCG threshold of 25 or less instead of this 50 miu I have. Oh well. We'll wait and see. I guess if AF isn't here by Friday AM I will try and test again, but I'm not expecting anything different from what I saw today.
On a side note: I have several friends who have recently given birth, and it is very difficult for me to look at their children's pictures with becoming teary eyed and disapointed. I want to be happy for them, but it's so hard to see pictures of what I want so much.