Thursday, June 30, 2011

CD26 of C6

I'm starting to have some "light" crampy feelings low in my pelvis. Everytime I think "Oh there's some cramps" they completely stop. It's really bizarre.

I think my ear is beginning to mend. It's still not quite right but I think it's better.

I've been having some EWCM today and BBs are big and puffy. All this sounds like the beginning of AF to me. Hopefully not, but probably so.

Wednesday, June 29, 2011

CD25 of C6

I have an ear infection. I started on amoxicillin yesterday. Yesterday I also began running a fever (no doubt from the ear infection).

Today I feel like I was hit by a bus (exhaustion wise). I had a day that I felt like this last cycle and I went through my blog to see if I could find out if it was the same cycle day or something. It wasn't. Last month I had a day when I felt like this and it was CD 17 or 18. I've already forgotten even though I just looked. I think my body might just be drained from working on clearing out the infection.

I've had a little bit of gloppy CM today and yesterday. I don't know how else to describe it. I know antibiotics can screw up the chemistry down below so perhaps that's what's happening. No cramps thus far though which is really odd.

BTW, DH seems certain that his swimmers caught the egg. I hope he's right. Normally I'm right about most things, but in this instance I wouldn't mind him being right.

Monday, June 27, 2011

CD23 of C6

Well my EWCM has dried up. I still haven't been experiencing any of the ovarian pains or cramping I usually am experiencing by now. I don't know if that's a good thing or not.

I'm not really experiencing any other aches, pains, or oddities as of right now. I guess I'm a little more thirsty than normal but that usually happens to me during ovulation and right before AF.

DH and I were talking the other day about how far apart our children are going to be now (since we can't seem to catch the egg). I think we are both really disappointed by that.

Monday, June 20, 2011

CD16 of C6

It's weird that I haven't had any ovarian cramps yet. I hope this doesn't mean I'm not going to ovulate this cycle. That would be really sad.

My DH seems pretty interested in getting this ball rolling and 'getting me pregnant.' He's definitely more interested than when we were ttc DS. Perhaps he's not so scared of fatherhood now that he knows a little bit of what to expect.

Still have tons of EWCM. Perhaps my ovaries are just being silent this month because they are working really hard on releasing the most perfect egg ever. :) A girl can hope, right?

Sunday, June 19, 2011

CD15 of C6

It's my opinion that those who say, "Just relax and it'll happen" or "Don't think about it and it'll happen" belong to the group of people that need to only have unprotected sex once to get pregnant.

I heard that a few times this weekend at a family function. My son is approaching an age where it would be appropriate for him to have a younger sibling. When people enquire about when he'll be getting one of those (siblings that is) I always say, "We're working on it." And then it is most often followed up by the advice written above.

Maybe I'm crazy, but I don't completely understand how any woman who wanted a baby could be trying to get pregnant and be able to 'not think about it.' It doesn't consume me like it did when we were trying for our first, but yeah I think about it. It's important to me. I feel like it's part of our next chapter.

But anyways.. Things are going well, I think. I've noticed a lot of soreness from my BBs lately. Also between yesterday and today I began having a ton of EWCM. This could be in part to the cold medicine I've been taking, but I'm not going to dismiss it. I haven't really had any ovarian like pains yet, but I'm sure those will come.

I hope the heat this summer doesn't keep us from BDing as much as normal. It's a little harder to be interested in that when I'm already hot and sweaty. I wonder if anyone else has this problem.

I know there's been a lot of traffic from ladies ttc lately on this blog. I hope each and everyone of you is having a good cycle and that you all get your BFPs soon. I think this is a great way for all the ttc gals to support each other so feel free to follow my blog and if you have one I'll follow yours too.

Wednesday, June 15, 2011

CD11 of C6

It's frustrating all this ttc business if you are trying to let nature just take its course without any interruption from you. I dont' have a clear cut answer about when I'm ovulating. I'm said it before, and I'll say it again, I'm not temping, using OPKs or anyother fertility monitoring devices right now.

I really feel that some of those devices can take the "fun" out of ttc. I don't want ttc to become a mechanical action. Our lovemaking isn't just about making a baby and I've read so many stories on so many blogs and forums about that problem. I've read about so many women that will only have sex when they are ovulating and no other time during the month. I wonder if those partners and husband's feel just they are on a stud farm?

Don't get me wrong. I know those who are conceiving with donor sperm (with or without a partner) or through any other means of artificial insemination must time it just right. But I'm reffering to those women who can have sex but only choose to have it during a 24-48 hour window every month. For us at least, I don't want sex to become predictable and less fun.

We've discussed and made the same decision we did while conceiving DS. We will give it a good year of trying without any extra interventions. If we reach a year of ttc without success we will slowly mix some of those extra predictors of ovulation in. I conceived on the 11th cycle with DS, and we conceived an unexpected (and untried for) pregnancy the summer of 2009 that unfortunately ended in a partial missed/retained miscarriage. That unfortunately was not our first miscarriage. So we know I can conceive. I think it's just about catching that perfect little eggy.

And if I'm being completely honest we DTD frequently enough throughout the entire cycle that if there's a good egg there there is no reason we shouldn't catch it.

I'm resigned to the fact that God has a special little one planned for us and it's just not the egg/sperms turn yet. We'll get there.

Thursday, June 9, 2011

CD5 of C6

AF is still here. I think she's getting ready to hit the road though. This AF has been extremely heavy and brought some pretty strong cramps. I hope that is my body clearing everything out to make a really hospitable womb for an egg this cycle.

On another note, I'm a litte sad. I began following a few different ladies blogs who were ttc. I started following these blogs when DH and I began trying for baby number two back last summer. One of the ladies just blogged about entering her 37th week. She wasn't pregnant yet when I because following her blog. It's a little disheartening to think that if we would have conceived back when we first began that we too would be expecting a new bundle any day. :(

Thanks for the comments on my last entry. I appreciate the love and support. I'm glad I don't have to go through this alone and that I can share my struggles with some people who really care besides my DH.

Saturday, June 4, 2011

CD33 of C5 (part 2)

I have begun to spot so that means AF should be here full blown in a day or two. Looks like this cycle is out too.

I'm sad and disappointed.

My goal for the next cycle is to try and focus more on my healthy lifestyle and hopefully conception will follow. My plan is to stay up on eating well, being active, and drinking lots of water.

CD33 of C5

I am having a hard time speaking in coherent phrases while using the computer. My brain seems to be under the impression that as long as I complete a thought in my brain and only type some of the words people will still understand me. Let me clarify my last post from yesterday since I'm under the impression you all are inside my brain and can hear all the thoughts I'm having. :)

If I make it through today that would mean that this cycle has been a complete 33 days long. My next (meaning the last one over 33 days) longest cycle (that being over 33 days) is the one I had that was 42 days long that started in November (and as we all remember just because I have a super long cycle - that is no definitive diagnosis of a pregnancy). So I was just trying to elude to the fact that over the last few months my cycles have been 31-32ish (mostly) and that if I make it through today without starting this will mark a cycle of (currently) above average length. I hope I made more sense this time.

That being said.. I am still waiting for AF to arrive. I tend to spot a couple days before things really get going and I haven't even started spotting yet. I was feeling pretty queasy and got a raging headache last night. I'm still having an increase in CM as well. Still a little bit of cramping. But again (as I stated above), I've been there with that super-duper long cycle and although I'm wanting to be excited, I'm also trying to guard my excitement for fear that this will all come to an end today (or in 10 days).

Now this morning DS and I are heading to the zoo with the church. The zoo is always over-populated with blossoming and expanding baby bumps. Baby fever always makes zoo visits a little bit more challenging.

Friday, June 3, 2011

CD32 of C5 (Part 2)

For my own peace of mind and curiosity I went back to see the lengths of my cycles since we have started ttc baby #2. I'm currently on CD32 now which has been about my norm (or average) recently. If I make it through tomorrow without AF this will be my longest cycle since that one that started in November and was 42 days. I hope this is a good sign and not just my body screwing around with my cycles again.

Length of cycles (since we've been ttc baby #2)
C1 - 30 days
C2 - 36 days
C3 - 34 days
C4 - 42 days
NTC1 - 30 days
NTC2 - 32 days
NTC3 - 32 days
NTNP1 - 31 days

CD32 of C5

AF hasn't shown her face yet.

I am terrified to retest. I think I might lose it if I see a BFN again.

I went to the dentist today and opted to not get the x-rays just in case. My DH looked pretty excited at the reason why I was avoiding the x-rays.

I've been mildly crampy, bloated, gassy, and my BBs are still puffy. I'm still hyper-emotional (cried listening to a song today) and moody. None of this is out of the norm for my period though. The one thing that is out of the norm is my absolute exhaustion. I am wicked tired. But that could be because I'm like an emotional basket case right now.

Thursday, June 2, 2011

CD31 of C5

Let me just state that I hate using HPTs. I hate the endless waiting game too. I'm having a hard time deciding which I hate less. While ttc DS I tortured myself on a regular basis with taking HPTs too early. That's why when I got my BFP with him I got a big, dark, beautiful second line (no squinting needed). I was on CD38 before I tested with him. I had completely abandoned testing before a certain point.

I caved and did a test this morning. AF should be here on Saturday so I used one of those 5 days early HPTs. And although I have line eye and can just about convince myself that something is "there." I know there isn't a second line there. I'm kicking myself for caving and testing before I'd planned. I could have saved myself this much frustration, sadness, and anger.

Something happened this week that makes this even more frustrating. I was at the Dept. of Health this week and while I was waiting I looked over and saw a girl who had to be a tween who was visibly pregnant and about to go into labor any day. Being the nosey person I am, I started eavesdropping and found out that the girl had in fact just turned 13 and was due in 10 days. So this hurts even more. Seriously a 12 year old girl can conceive a baby and carry it without complications, but I can't? Don't get me wrong. I'm pro-life and I'm glad that she didn't abort the baby. I'm just pissed off that a 12 year old who has no business having sex let alone getting pregnant can conceive and I cannot.

So, I have a dentist appt. tomorrow and I know they'll want to take x-rays. I will play it safe and not get them done, but I'm almost certain there's no reason to do that. So these cramps I'm having are AF cramps, and this queasy tummy, puffy BBs, and hyper-emotional state is just my normal pre-AF stuff.

Wednesday, June 1, 2011

CD30 of C5

I've been feeling queasy all day long. I'm hoping this is a good sign, but I'm afraid to get my hopes up. I'm mainly nervous to get over-excited because of the cramps I'm having. The cramps that feel exactly like AF is going to start trickling any moment.

If we average out my last 3 cycles AF should be here on Saturday. I just hate this waiting part.