Thursday, June 2, 2011

CD31 of C5

Let me just state that I hate using HPTs. I hate the endless waiting game too. I'm having a hard time deciding which I hate less. While ttc DS I tortured myself on a regular basis with taking HPTs too early. That's why when I got my BFP with him I got a big, dark, beautiful second line (no squinting needed). I was on CD38 before I tested with him. I had completely abandoned testing before a certain point.

I caved and did a test this morning. AF should be here on Saturday so I used one of those 5 days early HPTs. And although I have line eye and can just about convince myself that something is "there." I know there isn't a second line there. I'm kicking myself for caving and testing before I'd planned. I could have saved myself this much frustration, sadness, and anger.

Something happened this week that makes this even more frustrating. I was at the Dept. of Health this week and while I was waiting I looked over and saw a girl who had to be a tween who was visibly pregnant and about to go into labor any day. Being the nosey person I am, I started eavesdropping and found out that the girl had in fact just turned 13 and was due in 10 days. So this hurts even more. Seriously a 12 year old girl can conceive a baby and carry it without complications, but I can't? Don't get me wrong. I'm pro-life and I'm glad that she didn't abort the baby. I'm just pissed off that a 12 year old who has no business having sex let alone getting pregnant can conceive and I cannot.

So, I have a dentist appt. tomorrow and I know they'll want to take x-rays. I will play it safe and not get them done, but I'm almost certain there's no reason to do that. So these cramps I'm having are AF cramps, and this queasy tummy, puffy BBs, and hyper-emotional state is just my normal pre-AF stuff.

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